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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks - Adam Carolla If you are a fan of the podcast, or his other work in general, and want a near transcription of most of his material then this book might be for you. If you are anything less than a casual fan you won't find much of anything new between the covers and will probably be bored with many of the sections, skimming ahead often as I did.

I purchased the book for a variety of reasons. I was a die-hard fan of the original Man Show back in the day and I liked some of Carolla's stand-up material but primarily I never visited the sponsors of his podcast and felt obligated to give back to him as a semi-devoted listener of his (temporarily?) free podcast. I considered it my thank you by way of my wallet.

What I expected from the book was some sharp, biting humor tinged with his trademark chauvinism and machismo. Though the occassional chuckle is to be had within the pages really what the book amounted to was a weak rehash of his podcast material with very little new material at all.

If you are even the least bit familiar with Carolla you know that nothing's safe. He lashes out at practically everything and everyone he comes into contact with in his daily life. This can, predictably, result in some questionable choices in topic from a comedic standpoint. He's making fun of people who work in fast-food chicken places? Um. Okay. Mexicans, meter maids, restaurants, and of course the fairer sex are ripe targets and get plenty of attention in his spittle-flying rants. Some you can agree with -- at least partially, some you don't. I particularly liked the section on portraying men as slobbering idiots in commercials ALL. THE. TIME. What tweaks your sympathy very little is his bitching about paying a lot in taxes because of his millionaire tax bracket, troubles with his nanny, first class travel not living up to his standards, and his fancy cars getting towed. Get bent, Adam.

Carolla's delivery of the material, shocking in a breath-catching, "did he really just say that" kind of way on his podcast, comes off as whiny, racist, smug, arrogant, and completely off-putting on the printed page. Hey, c'mon, I can take a joke like the rest of you and it really takes a lot to get my to raise an eyebrow but there are times in this book where even I thought he not only crossed the line of good taste but double-backed to piss on the line, hock a loogie, and lower his pants to drop a Cleveland steamer on it.

He is not half as clever or original as he thinks he is and his opinions, no matter how hard he drives them or how confident he is that he's right, just don't seem to matter in most cases. No you aren't clever, no this isn't original, and -- most damning -- you aren't being very funny or amusing in your juvenile delivery.

Despite the section headings there is little rhyme or reason to the ranting. He finds something to rail on and spends a few paragraphs dallying on the topic, though frequently interrupts himself to go off on meaningless tangents before making it all the way through.

So here's your money, Adam. Let's call it even. Hopefully your cut of the book's profits won't kick you up into the next tax bracket and launch an updated series of rants on that front. If you want to include negative reviewers of this book in your sequel that might be interesting though.